Still Not Quite Getting It Right?     By Thea Westra




“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.” (Mark Twain)

“A man should not strive to eliminate his complexes, but to get into accord with them, for they are legitimately what directs his conduct in the world.” (Sigmund Freud)

“As is our confidence, so is our capacity.” (William Hazlitt)

“Be yourself and think for yourself; and while your conclusions may not be infallible, they will be nearer right than the conclusions forced upon you.” (Elbert Hubbard)


You are all you really have for sure.

What kinds of things do you say to yourself each day that demeans the miracle of you and your life?

What are the things you could be saying to yourself that build you up?

Can you be truly honest enough to acknowledge that all you have accomplished and not accomplished is a direct result of decisions that you made and actions that you took?

When you can really see that you are the source of all that is (and is not) in your life then you will also see that you have much more control over your future than you could possibly imagine.

Dwelling in the past is a way to avoid responsibility for moving forward. How long will you cling to those thoughts?

Take a look at any of your regrets and resentments.

Are any of these issues related to people in your life currently? Are there people with whom you need to have conversations? Are there people you need to thank? Are there people from whom you need to ask forgiveness? Are there people who you need to forgive (include yourself)? Are there things that you could simply choose to let go? Are there new ‘rules’ for your life that you can develop from looking at your past?

Where and how will you record these ‘rules’ so that you consciously remember that you choose to live by them?

List all your talents and unique abilities, do an inventory on yourself. Use a dictionary if you have to. Come up with a list between 50 to 100 items. Sure you can!

List the people in your life and next to each name record 5 words that they would most likely use if they were asked to describe you. Your opinion of yourself is only one opinion. If you want to expand this exercise, ask these people for their input.

You can try the reverse – next to each person write 5 words they would never use to describe you!

Make an exhaustive list of the things for which you have absolutely no talent and that will never be included in your list of unique abilities, then laugh a little when you see your list of the things at which you will never be ‘perfect’!

If all fails, ‘fake it till you make it’ and take some actions that you already KNOW will lift your opinion of you.

A couple of good web sites: www.more-selfesteem.com and www.self-confidence.co.uk

 

What's Your Optimism Ratio    Basically what he did was count all the positive words and the negative words in published pre-game quotes from the players and coaches, and then he calculated the ratio of positive words to negative. The team with the higher ratio was the one picked to win. There is some subjectivity in deciding whether a word is positive, negative, or neutral, but if you try it yourself, I think you’ll find that most of the time it’s fairly easy to classify words. Seligman also explains using a similar process to predict the winners of political elections.

Education Kills Fear   A great way to overcome fear is to educate your fear into oblivion.  Consider most people’s greatest fear — public speaking. Public speaking has a lot of variables — writing and organizing the speech, delivering it with confidence, vocal variety, voice volume and pitch, gestures, body language, eye contact, visual aids, achieving the speech objectives, connecting with the audience, adapting to the audience’s response, etc. If you don’t have specific knowledge of how to do these things, it will just look like a gaping void of uncertainty and overwhelm, and fear will be the natural response.

Overcoming Negative Emotions    A negative emotional state can really ruin your day. Prolonged stress, depression, or anger are clearly not conducive to high levels of performance. And the worst part is that these emotional states tend to be self-perpetuating. Working while overly stressed can lead to even more stress. Depression and worry can cause you to avoid taking the kinds of actions that will help you escape the pit of negativity. And anger can lead you to take unproductive actions you may later regret.

The Power of Now   Like most people, you probably want things. Think of three things you want (before you read on). 1, 2, 3 things.  Did you do it? Whether or not you want a spiffy car, to lose weight, a new relationship, fame, fortune or whatever, you want what you want because you believe it will make you happy. Feeling good is the bottom line behind every single goal. Even if your goal is to help other people feel good, you want to do it because it makes YOU feel good. It makes you happy.

Choose to Forgive   I want you to realize something very important. Are you listening, because if you can grasp this concept, you will learn to soar. If you are angry or upset at someone, if you feel that they did something to you that was wrong, you’re being angry, hurt and upset is not going to change them. You are only going to hurt yourself. What would you rather be, right in the conviction that everyone should feel sorry for you for that hard time you have had at the hands of others, or free from the pain. Wouldn’t it be better to forgive, rise above the pain and be happy? What does it prove to the world, to that person, to you by holding on to the hurt?